With the holiday season in full swing, I know you are scrambling to find some last minute gifts. And with Christmas fast approaching and still time to grab some Hanukkah or Kwanzaa gifts I’m going to give you the hookup on what I’d want you to buy me on display now at the Philadelphia Union online store.
Who cares if I can’t fit most of it? Let me worry about that.
Jerseys, jerseys and more jerseys
Love this team and the authentic original blue and gold top is my favorite. You can grab the same ones the the players get handed on gameday or check out the replica version. Our store staff can add the name and number of any player and we have feminine cut pieces in stock and at 50 percent off sale pricing too.
And don’t ask me what Freddy Adu and Cristhian Hernandez’ new numbers are going to be, your guess is as good as Freddy and Cristhian’s right now.
Join or Die
That’s right you heard me. Figured, since the ancient Mayans say we're all goners by this time tomorrow anyway you might as well get one of these so you can go out reppin’ the U. This neckpiece comes in signal blue and on the other side says “We are the Union,” which in case you were wondering who you’re supporting on gamedays after one too many parking lot Bearfights, there’s a friendly reminder.
Three little piggies
Where do you think we put all that allocation money (ahem, cash), baby? This seven-inch rosin Union piggy bank is perfect for teaching the little ones how to save in style. I gave Hack one the minute he was named interim manager and look how well that’s gone for thus so far. I also gave another former member of the staff one, but he broke it – and two days later Jorge Perlaza was on a plane to Philly.
Hey, all I can do is provide the key. The locks they open…
Oh and postscript...this is a shout out to the gentleman that is my impostor on Twitter. I get everyone wants to be me and that's fine. I mean seriously, look at me. All I ask is that you keep it classy. After all, your beard is no where near as grey as mine and I'm turning grey over a few things you've posted. So far, you've been 90 percent hilarious, and 10 percent crass. As a personal holiday gift to moi, let's recalibrate to 100 percent...hilarious.