Phang

The story behind the Union's new mascot, Phang

Phang was born a normal snake on the banks of the Delaware. He’s only ever had one dream, that’s to play soccer. He loves the game and tries to play but he’s a snake so he can’t really play since he can’t kick. He finds a Union flag that’s inspired by the Join or Die flag. His parents tell him that his great, great, great, great, great grandfather posed for Ben Franklin who drew the original cartoon. BEN FRANKLIN! That’s it!

Inspired by Benny, Phang decides to try his own experiment the next time it storms. He comes to Talen with a ball and an old metal cleat. He ties the ball and the cleat together and holds on to the middle of the string. Lightning strikes and all that is there in his place is a metallic egg that looks like a soccer ball. A hungry fox bats it around and it ends up in an ACME box.

The next day ACME is making a delivery at Talen and the driver mistakes the box for one of his that fell off the truck so he takes it back to the store. At the store the stockboy takes it to the egg aisle where a young boy finds it while shopping with his family.

They don’t know what it is or what to do with it so they call the Philadelphia Zoo and take it there for testing. In the meantime, they tell the Union about it since it came from them.  The egg begins to grow as the Zoo, ACME and the Union wait for the test results. Finally, the results come in as the egg is believed to be ready to hatch. That’s when the zoo calls out to all kids to come to see the hatching of this new species.

What the results show is that there were traces of human DNA on those cleats and the lightning created a reaction that gave Phang arms and legs…and a sweet Mohawk. He’s a little confused but also ecstatic because now he can play soccer!


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